Assertiveness Training. Vital in Martial Arts.
When faced with the threat of violence I’m a great believer in the need to be assertive and not aggressive. I was an operational police officer for many years and many times I witnessed firsthand the difference between an assertive approach and one that wasn’t!
When dealing with confrontation or any kind of aggression it is vital to remain clear headed. Easily said, not easily done. Assertiveness training relies on a cognitive mindset that is the intellect being in the ascendancy not the emotions. My favourite martial art saying was Bruce Lee when he said “control your emotions or they will control you.”
Police officers who used aggression to move people along invariably received a torrent of abuse, physical resistance and often an assault for their trouble! I learnt early in my career to always be firm but fair, assertive not aggressive and it worked.
For the martial artist assertiveness training is a must. Practitioners can have the highest kicks or the strongest punch but if their head isn’t in the right place or their demeanour portrays the wrong signals then chances are they will end up in difficulty.
The problem is that assertiveness is not “natural.” It sits in the middle of our primordial and consequently natural responses to threats, i.e. flight or fight. In this context fight or flight also applies to our emotions. Flight = tears, giving up, acquiescence, and fight = anger and aggression.
When No means Yes!
Like any technique assertiveness has to be practiced. Tone of voice, non verbal communication and physical responses have to be consciously managed and controlled with great care. The inflection in a person’s voice can be the difference between an assertive and an aggressive response.
There are lots of ways to say “no”. Ooccasionally the less than assertive “no” response takes on a much greater importance. "No" meaning "yes" can be central to deciding a mans guilt when investigating rape. A common defence includes a suggestion that the victim who said no actually meant yes and willingly gave themselves.
When a person speaks with conviction it is as if their entire body believes in what they say, there is something powerful and compelling about those who can assert their feelings. Here lies one of the great martial art secrets. It’s not what you say or do but the way that you say or do it!
If you are serious about developing the capability to deal with confrontation or threats of violence then you must understand the value of assertiveness training. It may not be the sexiest part of martial art training but it’s incredibly important.
